Sex-Negative Actions in Sex-Positive Communities
I want to offer for you all a call to arms guest post by Nadia West, blogger over at Diary of a Kinky Librarian. It’s the original piece posted on Good Vibrations Magazine a couple days ago, where she talks bluntly (and without identifying the perp) about an abusive experience she had.
When her abuser commented on the post (outing himself, may I add), protesting that she was lying, that he was a “a published writer and sex educator who may justifiably be considered an expert in the subjects I teach” and who has presented many places (I guess to add weight that because he “is someone” he must not be abusive..?) GV initially approved his comment. Why, I have no idea, and I’d be curious to hear how they justified that, particularly as her post had no identifying information. He went on to add smugly that the second conference leaders “concluded that she described a consensual act, not assault”- like anyone but the survivor can conclude that. Sound disappointingly familiar?
Anyway, GV removed that post, and instead posted an edited version with this disclaimer:
Editor’s note: Per our company policy, Good Vibrations made an internal executive decision to remove the original blog post. This is the updated version. We apologize for any discomfort this caused.
Discomfort for whom, I ask?
I should add that I care about Good Vibes. They sponsored the Boston Safe/Ward workshop (notes to be up soon) and they’ve published all the Safe/Ward stuff I’ve sent them. But as I said in my community leaders post- don’t be afraid to put your foot down. I’m sure GV didn’t mean to be silencing, but by trying to… avoid drama? stay neutral, maybe? they ended up silencing Nadia, even though she didn’t name names.
Read the post in full here.